It is possible to create a healthy and rewarding relationship with others but to do so requires
looking at the world through a new lens and to constantly be vigilant of the forces that strive to
put us back into the box-like, mechanistic structures dictated by Industrial Revolution models of
organizational and human behavior.
Six guideposts and a few key questions to continually ask yourself
1. Who do you see in the mirror?
What are your assumptions about your role in society, in your work and career, with your family, with friends? Who says it
has to be that way? Is your assumption about yourself shared by others? How do you know? Have you ever met a
personal assumption that you did not like? Which one? Why not? What would happen if you said, “I don’t know” to
someone who has an expectation that you should know the answer?
2. Who do you hear when you communicate?
What is the average length of silence between others speaking and your replying? Is that good? Why? What
communications do you receive in that period of silence? What do you communicate in that silence? How many ways of
listening do you employ when hearing others speak? How many are there?
3. What is the nature of your connections?
What is most threatening to you - the loss of positional power, personal pride, or financial profit? Why are any of those
important to you? Where and how can new relationships help you create new awareness? What is the real reason you
seek connections?
4. How do you behave in the shadows?
What ideas do you have that are outside the “legitimate” system of how things should unfold? How are you sharing those
ideas with others? How can you move what can sometimes be negative, reactive behaviors, actions, and attitudes found in
the dark shadows of an organization into the soft shadows of the system where there is opportunity for positive change?
5. Are you trapped in a small organizational box?
What are three examples of your own “box-like thinking?” Who put you into this box? What prevents you from getting out?
Do you think others "just don’t get it" when it comes to understanding your ideas and self-image? Why do you think they
are wrong and you are right? What would happen if you were “wrong”?
6. What are you afraid of?
What gives you a sense of powerlessness - the perception that you cannot really influence events? What would it take for
you to feel like you have direct influence and the ability to guide events? How would communications play a role and what
relationship structure could make this happen? Where do you feel “in the dark” about what’s going on and why? Is this
information gap a result of a disparity between your reality of events and the reality of others? What communications
actions could be taken to enhance your level of information and understanding?
looking at the world through a new lens and to constantly be vigilant of the forces that strive to
put us back into the box-like, mechanistic structures dictated by Industrial Revolution models of
organizational and human behavior.
Six guideposts and a few key questions to continually ask yourself
1. Who do you see in the mirror?
What are your assumptions about your role in society, in your work and career, with your family, with friends? Who says it
has to be that way? Is your assumption about yourself shared by others? How do you know? Have you ever met a
personal assumption that you did not like? Which one? Why not? What would happen if you said, “I don’t know” to
someone who has an expectation that you should know the answer?
2. Who do you hear when you communicate?
What is the average length of silence between others speaking and your replying? Is that good? Why? What
communications do you receive in that period of silence? What do you communicate in that silence? How many ways of
listening do you employ when hearing others speak? How many are there?
3. What is the nature of your connections?
What is most threatening to you - the loss of positional power, personal pride, or financial profit? Why are any of those
important to you? Where and how can new relationships help you create new awareness? What is the real reason you
seek connections?
4. How do you behave in the shadows?
What ideas do you have that are outside the “legitimate” system of how things should unfold? How are you sharing those
ideas with others? How can you move what can sometimes be negative, reactive behaviors, actions, and attitudes found in
the dark shadows of an organization into the soft shadows of the system where there is opportunity for positive change?
5. Are you trapped in a small organizational box?
What are three examples of your own “box-like thinking?” Who put you into this box? What prevents you from getting out?
Do you think others "just don’t get it" when it comes to understanding your ideas and self-image? Why do you think they
are wrong and you are right? What would happen if you were “wrong”?
6. What are you afraid of?
What gives you a sense of powerlessness - the perception that you cannot really influence events? What would it take for
you to feel like you have direct influence and the ability to guide events? How would communications play a role and what
relationship structure could make this happen? Where do you feel “in the dark” about what’s going on and why? Is this
information gap a result of a disparity between your reality of events and the reality of others? What communications
actions could be taken to enhance your level of information and understanding?
Using bioleadership to create a healthy life
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